How do you pretend you do not care when former friends approach you for help? I know I could not. Thus, after nearly two years, I return to where it all began and I find memories, good and bad around every corner.
Eric and I have been married for nearly a year. Our family life is hectic, but we manage. He is a wonderful father and husband. I realize now this is what I deserved from the very beginning. I feel cheated I spent so many years in limbo, but if I had not suffered through all the pain, I would not be where I am today.
I know it pains Eric to see me back in a corporation I fled. I think he fears I will revert back to having the feelings I had before we got together. All I can do is assure him that life is behind me for good. Sometimes, a part of me wants to make amends and I wonder if what I did was for the best after all. The boys have consistency in their lives. They are healthy and thriving, even after the scare we had with Tamar. I could not imagine life without his sweet disposition and smile. I was willing to chance seeing Rel to get him healthy. I am sure she will come to me one day asking a favor which I will be obligated to fulfill.
I know I have to focus on my family and my career now, but I don't have the closure I long for. I do not know if I will ever get it. If I seek it out, it will cause all I know to crumble around me. So, I remain, fighting with this bitter enemy that is my past.
No comments:
Post a Comment