Saturday, December 21

A Wedding

In the gardens of Lasairiona Raske and Eric Lancier's estates, there sits a gazebo, veiled in moonlight and lit by candelabras. Plush chairs line a white velvet carpet leading up the gazebo. The scent of orchids fills the air. The wedding guests slowly filter in, Anabella accompanying Ava in order to look after her small boy, Mitja. Both Ava and Mitja are dressed in traditional Sebestior shamanic garb.

Eric exits the house, dressed dashingly in a new suit, and heads over to the small gathered party, holding Madeleine's hand. The little girl is wearing a brand new dress. She spies Mitja and makes a beeline for him, smiling warmly before hugging him and planting a big kiss on his cheek. This makes Mitja make a face, but he grudgingly accepts the kiss.

A pair of nursemaids make their way over holding the twins, Tyrion and Tamar. Both little boys are dressed in suits. They squirm a bit to get down and run around, but the nursemaids are used to their antics. One turns to Madeleine, "Madeleine, it's nearly time! Go back to the house please." Madeleine curtseys prettily to Ava and Mitja before scurrying off.

The quartet playing music switches tunes and soft music emits from a harp. The assembled guests move to their seats. Eric looks nervously down the aisle in anticipation. Madeleine comes down the aisle first, carrying a little bouquet of white roses in one hand and a little satin bag in the other. She takes her place next to Ava, with a big grin to Mitja.

Lasa appears on the arm of her father, Tyrion. Her hair swept up with flowers and a bouquet of white roses and orchids in her hand. The guests turn and smile. Eric's mouth drops open before he composes himself with a huge grin on his face. Lasa and Tyrion make their way down the aisle. Tyrion kisses Lasa on both cheeks and places her hand in Eric's, with a nod to the younger man and a wink. Eric smiles and nods back and the couple turn to face Ava as Tyrion takes a seat. From the back of the gathering, Vince heads in and sits, only slightly late.

Ava smiles to all and begins, "Good evening. We're here today to celebrate the joining of two paths, the marriage of Lasairiona and Eric, and appropriately, today is Midwinter. The day when the sun will begin its return to the sky, when winter will begin to relinquish its grip, a day that marks the beginning of another turn of the cosmic wheel." She pauses for a moment and continues, "As the years turn, so do the cycles of our lives. We all follow our own path, as best we are able, toward our ultimate goal. And that goal, that final destination for us, is the need to belong to something greater than the self, to be loved, to be a piece of something more. Few things bring us such joy as the union of two paths, of the joining of two lives, both for the individuals involved, and for their family and friends, their kin and kith. Why else would we all get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and sit in stiff-backed chairs, eh? It must all be worth it."

Lasa giggles softly and looks up at Eric.

Eric grins fighting back a laugh. The rest of the guest laugh in turn to the remark.

Ava continues her speech, "And it is worth it; very few other moments in life will bring any of us such joy, such sense of community and togetherness, such a true feeling of oneness, as days like this, as events like this. All people, of all faiths - or no faith - need to belong. The greatest human need, by any measure, in any place, or any time, is simply that. And today, Lasairiona and Eric, we celebrate the two of you, having truly found that oneness, in one another.

Ava looks down at Madelyne, "I believe, someone has the tokens of that oneness... who is she, I wonder?"

Madeleine bounces and sets her little bouquet on a side table. She holds up her little bag. Ava takes the bag gently and bows again, "Thank you, Madelyne. We couldnt do this without you, you know?" Madeleine blushes and looks down.

Ava winks at her and carefully opens the bag, being sure not to touch the rings herself, and holds the bag in her hands in front of herself for a moment, "Rings, like that celestial cycle - and like our paths through life - are circular. No beginning, no end. And for them to work - to look their best,  to last a good long while - every piece must play its part. The band, the setting, the stone. With these rings, you are both vowing, to one another, before all assembled here, and to all who have come before, that you will do everything in your power to play your part in the new union you are creating. Please, each of you take the ring meant for your partner."


Lasa reaches into the bag and takes Eric's ring. Eric does likewise, removing Lasa's ring as well. Ava hands the bag back to Madeleine, reminding her to hold tightly onto it.

Ava turns to look at Lasa, "Do you, Lasairiona, agree to do all in your power to strengthen the union you are embarking upon, in wealth and ruin, in sickness and in health, in dark day and in bright sunshine, for as long as you both shall live?"

Lasa looks up at Eric, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, "I do."

Ava turns now to look at Eric, "And you, Eric, do you agree to do all in your power to strengthen the union you are embarking upon, in wealth and ruin, in sickness and in health, in dark day and in bright sunshine, for as long as you both shall live?"

Eric takes a deep breath and looks into Lasa's emerald eyes "I do"

Ava nods and continues, "Please, Lasa, place the ring you hold, upon Eric's hand."

Lasa takes Eric's hand in hers and slips the ring onto his left ring finger.

Ava smiles brightly, "And Eric, please place the ring you hold, upon Lasa's hand."

Eric gently places the ring on Lasa's finger.

"Then, unless anyone here has any acceptable reason why these two should not be united, why these two paths should not be joined as one...." Ava waits a moment before smiling brightly again, " ...then by the authority granted me by the Sebiestor Tribe, with all of those assembled as witnesses, I now pronounce you, Eric and Lasa, as husband, and wife." Ava bows a bit and steps back as she says, "You know what to do..."

Eric pulls Lasa softly towards him and leans in, tilting his head slightly as he places a long kiss on her lips.

Ava covers her mouth with her hands and tries to not squeal too loudly. The guests erupt in applause. She laughs as the kiss ends and turns to the guests, "As you all know, there will be a reception shortly. Having sat through this, and listening to me of all people talk, I hope you'll all go relax some."

After many well wishes from the assembled party, all depart to L'Amore in Ballo for the wedding reception.

((OOC Note: Very special thanks to Ava Starfire. What more can I say? She was amazing!))

Monday, September 9

Where is my mind?

Sleep escapes me. I cannot fathom who I can trust so I float between places, cloaked like the grim reaper. Alcoholic stupors consume my mind and body. Flashes of bodies, the taste of blood. I feel strange, like I am becoming something I once was. Have I tried to suppress my true self for too long?

Saturday, July 13

Trust

Victor's words still ring in my ears as I arrive home to the darkened estate. Moonlight sweeps through the large windows as I climb the stairs to the second level. Who is worth trust? That's what his note said. I rub my eyes as I enter our bedroom. Eric is already home, sleeping so I quietly get undressed and slip between the sheets next to him. His face is so peaceful and relaxed as I watch him sleep. Closing my eyes, I try to forget for the time being that he may be of harm to me and the children, if Victor is to be believed. Reaching for his hand, I give it a slight squeeze and drift off to sleep.

Saturday, June 22

Pain

My eyes are nearly closing. I'm sitting next to Eric as he lays, injured, in a hospital bed. Why do these things keep happening? Is it too much to ask for a simple life? He was just walking into Ithi's office and some lunatic stabbed him. He was supposed to be safe with Ithi. I don't want to let go of his hand for fear he will slip away from me.

It's so strange. I felt like I was in love before now, but it was nothing like this. There were always conditions. Something that didn't feel quite right. I can't think of anything that makes me doubt this love. Perhaps I've grown up.

I haven't kept track of time so I am probably babbling on. I lay my hand over his chest to feel his heart beating, rest my head on the bed and close my eyes.

Monday, June 17

Begin Again...

Sometimes, that night at Smokin' Aces haunts me. I wake drenched in a cold sweat, a scream on my lips. His name. I should hate him more. I just wish I could get the blood from my hands.

The months have been long. I see him in the faces of my boys, but I cannot hate them. They are innocents in all of this. It was supposed to be my happily ever after. It was heartbreaking. I had to find myself all over again. It wasn't right to rely so heavily on someone. He will have a piece of my heart forever. I cannot deny that.

Two years ago, I met Eric in The Broken Piano. He became my best friend, my confidant, my drinking buddy, and my dance partner. A few months ago, he told me he was in love with me. I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or some long, deep hidden emotion. After "him," I was a wreck. My heart was torn into a thousand pieces. Nightie purged me of the drugs. Eric held me up and kept me from falling back down. The days blurred together, but he was there. The one constant.

One day at the Bunny Lounge, Cynthia hit on him. She didn't know we were seeing each other, but the jealousy hit me hard. Harder than I expected. I started to question and wonder if I had been ignoring the one person in front of me. I admitted my feelings. Eric pulled away a bit, as I expected him to. Not good enough, he said, he was not good enough to be with me.

My sweet sister, Ithiria, solved that insecurity and Eric and I have been all but inseparable. I hope this is it. People seem satisfied with my choice.

After a brief slip up, with Leopold Caine abducting Eric to try and coerce me into doing something for him, things are running smoothly now. I opened my second venue, L'Amore in Ballo.

I am happy. Not lying and not hiding everything sets my spirit free. I have a future in sight now.

Friday, March 22

Lies

There she was. Her. In his ship. After promise after promise that he would never hurt me and for me to trust him, he lied.

As Tiger sat at his desk, I came through the door. No words. Just took out the knife Carmilla made for me on our weekend getaway and stabbed him through the heart. So fitting that a knife that bore both our names is what I used to kill him.

I have sent my children away with my father. His boys. Tiger's sons. I need to find a way to survive again. One blue pill and I slip into oblivion, but even my dreams haunt me. Why? Why?

Wednesday, March 13

Time Flies

My lovely daughter Madeleine is two years old today. When I think back to all we have been through during her short years in this universe, I want to cry and smile all at the same time. My sweet little girl is growing up before my eyes.

She has been given some lovely presents from my father as well as a few special ones from me. Tiger gave her a lovely doll that Madeleine has yet to put down. She called her "Talia."

Life is so wonderful right now. I couldn't be more happy.

Friday, March 8

One Month Old!

As silly as it is, I thought I would mark this milestone. My boys are one month old today. Both can hold up their heads as well as turn towards different sounds and voices. They recognize mine and Madeleine's as soon as we come into a room. They start to coo and giggle. Madeleine takes great delight in laying on the floor with them and moving toys around for them to grab at.

Tyrion almost rolled from his stomach to his back this morning! I think he's going to be the more active of the pair. Tamar seems more subdued and content to get to things in his own time.

I couldn't be more proud of my boys and I just had to brag.

Monday, March 4

Realizations

Nightie moved so swiftly and the motion was so fluid, I never saw the knife coming until it pinned me to the table by my necklace. I could feel the chain dig into the back of my neck. A bouncer rushed to free me and I hastily inspected the ring on my necklace. It was completely undamaged. I ran my fingertips over the blemish that the knife caused to the table. The truth to her words hit home. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake and I was completely miserable because of it. Sure, the whole idea of separating was made with the very best of intentions, but was it the best thing for us?

The following morning, Madeleine and the boys spent the day with my father so I went into Smokin' Aces earlier than usual. I moved through the lounge to the bar and got the figures from the previous night from the bartender before heading to the management suite. Tiger's office door was shut. I wondered if he had been staying there or if he even was there. I tried my luck and knocked on the door. A voice from within responded and I entered the office.

There he was. My heart jumped into my throat. We talked a bit about business and I turned to look at something. Being the observant individual that Tiger is, he noticed the bruise along my neck and asked about it, brushing his fingers over the mark.

It wasn't long before all came flooding out. We knew we had made a mistake, but neither was willing to admit it until I had this eye opening experience.

At that point, we realized that we were made for each other. So different and yet, our hearts beat as one. He was and is my soul mate and I will never be parted from him again.

Wednesday, February 20

I Guess the World Didn't Stop For My Broken Heart

Alone with my thoughts
Pondering our goodbye
One embrace
A long gaze
A few words in hushed tones
Do not cry, you tell yourself.
Walk away
Look back once more
But you’re gone.

Tears flow freely
The soft rain mingles with them
How fitting
Heaven is crying with you
Feeling your pain
This is not farewell
We will meet again
But it feels like forever
Until then, I’ll hold it in
And cry when I am
Alone with my thoughts.

Saturday, February 9

Life Changing Moments

Last night was the scariest and most wonderful night of my life, second only to Madeleine's birth. I knew the twins would be early, but I never anticipated going into labor in the middle of The Broken Piano. Eric was a state and Esna walked right into it all. Both got me home safe and the boys arrived at around three in the morning.

Heavens help me. They look so much like their father, but they are happy and healthy. For now, I need to rest. Then I will reconcile what has been broken.

Tuesday, February 5

Memories

I do my best to put my mind to work elsewhere, but everything I do reminds me of you. I'm haunted by memories, shadows, sounds. It's as if I can still feel your arms around me at night and your lips on mine. This is almost too much to bear. I wish you would come back to me. Please come back to me.

Friday, January 25

Old Friends

In the span of just a few days, I have had two very interesting things happen to me. Both ironically occurred in my usual haunt, The Broken Piano. First, my good friend Raxip has returned from a lengthy stay planet side. I was thrilled to see him. He felt the twins move as well, which was very sweet. I must have occupied his thoughts while he was away because he drew a lovely picture of me. I was very touched by this. He has always been so kind to me, seeking nothing in return. I hope that he stays around now that he's back.

The second thing is probably the more intriguing of the two. Eric Lancier and I have been friends for many years. I distinctly remember scooping him off the floor when he was in one of his drunken stupors and helping him to the shuttle bay. We have always had a rather curious friendship. He fears disappointing me and I always assure him that he couldn't possibly do such a thing. Well, I discovered that his recent attempts to become sober are because of me. He told me as much when he admitted he had more than feelings of friendship towards me.

Now, I am so confused by all this. I'm not seeking any kind of attachment at the moment. I have another gentlemen avidly seeking, for lack of a better word, a one night stand with me. I'm just unsure if I'm ready for that. It's too soon. My heart is still broken. I wonder if it will ever be whole again.

Wednesday, January 16

Shattered Dreams

Once upon a time
You were here.
Our fairy tale ending
Was in sight.

I lay in bed,
Haunted by memories
Of a future
That was never to be.

Visions of hard flesh
On soft skin.
Warm lips meeting
In the throes of passion.

Too long had I waited
For love and trust
Happiness forged from sorrow
Joy pulled from pain.

Now, endless nights
Of whispered promises
Have given way
To shattered dreams.

Friday, January 11

Truth and Trust

Thought my few years in this universe (compared to some obviously), I have learned a few things. One of those things was to make sure I protected my heart from those that would use it to their own ends. I have failed at that again. And again I find myself alone and pregnant. A man who assured me I could trust him has betrayed me. Not only has he betrayed me, but his commanding officer, who swore to help us keep in touch, has betrayed me as well. I have lied to myself for many months hoping it wasn't true, but I cannot live this fantasy any longer.

I know after the twins are born, that will be it. I will make certain that no child will come into this world from my body again.

My time is now occupied with educational pursuits. I am researching the heritage of my family. I know I am descended from mystics and I am searching for more information. There is very little unfortunately, but it occupies my mind. I ask the gods for strength. It's hard to put on such a face when inside, I'm dying.