Slander

The rage I am feeling cannot possibly be described. I have been accused of a most heinous act!

I was connected into The Summit yesterday and was speaking with another capsuleer about my pregnancy. I was asked how far along I was and Norrin spoke up. He has apparently been released from the asylum. I realized later that my month count was off, but regardless of that, he began raving about the attack I suffered a few months ago.

He is fully convinced that I planned the attack in order to have a miscarriage. He rambled on about getting justice. Several people pointed out to him that it was uncharacteristic of me to even fathom planning such a horrible act. He could not even provide any evidence to support his insane claims!

I am sure that he will not follow through on any course of vengeance. First of all, he is not capable of it and second, he would not even dare confront me in person. It will be forgotten and he will go about with his delusions of vengence and justice. I do pity him.

Horror

William's family is missing. I am horrified to think that not even a week ago, my dear, sweet Madeleine was living there. She is sleeping with her head rested in my lap. My little girl. I plan to keep her close now. She will soon have two little brothers. I cannot even bear to write more. The what ifs haunt me.

Burned

I do not know what drew me back to the beach house today. Perhaps I was just curious about how Norrin was doing. I had not heard from him since I left nor did I really expect to. I landed my ship at the small docking bay and took a shuttle down to the planet.

I walked slowly along the beach and watched the ocean waves roll in and out. As I approached the house where we used to live, my heart nearly stopped. I froze in my tracks. Where the house used to be was a pile of rubble, blackened. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming or imagining it.

A few workers were rummaging through the wood and moving it aside. I pulled the hood of my jacket up to obscure my face and moved closer to one of them, "What happened here?"

He looked up at me, a black mark across one of his cheeks, "The son. Went mad. Burned the place to the ground."

A lump formed in my throat, "Did he say anything?"

The man shrugged, "Not sure, miss. Just know his fiancee left him. Next thing we know, the place is up in flames and his parents institutionalised him."

"Institutionalised him?"

The man tried to peer under my hood, "Yes, miss. Mental institution."

I nodded firmly and turned my head away to look at the rubble again, "Thank you."

The man shrugged again and went back to work. I watched for a moment and then I walked away, head down.

As I walked I came to the realization that I was part of the cause of his mental breakdown. I didn't leave him to hurt him. I left him because he would be safer. I hoped he would move on and find someone more worthy of him. I suppose I was wrong.

So this is love....

The full moon reflects on the water as we sit on the terrace. I look over at him. His features are dark, almost mysterious, with secrets hidden beneath his eyes. He rises from his chair and stands in front of me, “Come dance with me.” He holds out his hand to me and I place my small hand into his. He pulls me to my feet and into his embrace. He leads the dance to unheard music, moving me slowly around.

One hand skims up my back to where dress gives way to flesh, tipping my chin up with a finger so my green eyes fix on his, “I love you.”

My soft, red lips curve into a smile and part ever so slightly, “And I love you.”

He lowers his head and brushes his lips across my full, lush mouth. Once. Twice. Three times. My eyes close, long lashes fanning out on my cheeks. He studies my face and murmurs, “Absolutely beautiful.” My eyes open slowly. He smiles down at me, “I cannot begin to describe my joy that you are carrying my children.”

I blush. A common reaction any time he gives me such lovely compliments, “As am I.”

We sway softly in the moonlight, his strong arms holding my body as if I would break. I twine my arms around his neck and rest my head on his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. I feel his cheek come to rest on the top of my head. A small shiver of fear goes through my body at the thought of ever losing him, but I push it away and focus on that moment in the moonlight where we simply just belong to each other. A feeling of complete and utter contentment sweeps over me. We are so perfectly matched in our imperfect natures.

Healing

As I sit in the examination room, my heart begins to pound and questions begin to course through my head. Has my body truly healed from the attack? Will I be able to have children again? I sigh and fidget a bit in my chair. Unable to remain seated any longer, I get up and begin pacing the room. I stop abruptly as the door opens. The doctor enters and motions for me to sit again. He sits at his desk facing me.

"Ms. Raske. I am pleased to tell you that there was no lasting damage from the assault upon your person." He smiles at me.

I let out a breath and smile back, "Thank you so much, Doctor." I go to get up and he stops me.

"However, I have some interesting news for you." He pauses and hands me a datapad with my medical results on it. I quickly skim through them.

"Pregnant?!" I nearly drop it on the floor, "I'm pregnant? When is the baby due?"

He smiles again and chuckles, "Babies, Ms. Raske. You're pregnant with twins."

My mouth drops open, "Babies?" I place my hand over my abdomen.

The doctor's smile never leaves his face, "Yes, twins. Identical, according to our results. We should know the gender in a few weeks' time, should you wish to return then. We would like to monitor your condition closely and I would fully advise that you rest as much as possible. I assume this comes as a bit of a surprise?"

I nod, "Yes...it does. It's not what I was expecting to hear, but I'm sure that everything will be fine."

"And you have somewhere to go? Someone to take care of you?" He raises an eyebrow.

I smile softly at the thought, "Yes...I'm sure he will be thrilled with the news."

************************************************************

And I was correct. He was thrilled. I've never seen him so happy before. He's excited about being a father and cannot wait to raise our children together.

So, I am beginning to heal, both emotionally and physically. My heart is growing whole. In a way, I feel like my lost little boy has given me two reasons to live now. And while I will always wonder about the child I lost, I now have two more children to love and cherish.

Visiting

I'm sitting at William's estate, visiting with my sweet little girl, Madeleine. She is going on and on about how much fun she is having with William's children. She loves it here and wants to never leave. I smile because she's so happy. Since I took her from my mother's, she's been craving the company of other children.

She doesn't mention Norrin. I think my father spoke to her about it. I'm sure she misses him, but she's bounced back quickly with the new distractions. I hope I can find a place soon where we can live together in peace and comfort.

I should say more, but I still live in fear......

Late at night.....

I awake with the scream still in my throat. I curl into a ball, burying my face into the pillow. The tears come hot and fast as a pain rips through my heart. Flashbacks and memories. So much anguish. I'm haunted by visions of losing my son. Visions of my mother beating me, telling me it was all my fault. I'm shaking.

Soothing arms come around me, holding me close. My tears are wiped away and he tells me I'm safe. I come back to reality and slip back into a dreamless sleep wrapped in his arms.