Trust

Victor's words still ring in my ears as I arrive home to the darkened estate. Moonlight sweeps through the large windows as I climb the stairs to the second level. Who is worth trust? That's what his note said. I rub my eyes as I enter our bedroom. Eric is already home, sleeping so I quietly get undressed and slip between the sheets next to him. His face is so peaceful and relaxed as I watch him sleep. Closing my eyes, I try to forget for the time being that he may be of harm to me and the children, if Victor is to be believed. Reaching for his hand, I give it a slight squeeze and drift off to sleep.

Pain

My eyes are nearly closing. I'm sitting next to Eric as he lays, injured, in a hospital bed. Why do these things keep happening? Is it too much to ask for a simple life? He was just walking into Ithi's office and some lunatic stabbed him. He was supposed to be safe with Ithi. I don't want to let go of his hand for fear he will slip away from me.

It's so strange. I felt like I was in love before now, but it was nothing like this. There were always conditions. Something that didn't feel quite right. I can't think of anything that makes me doubt this love. Perhaps I've grown up.

I haven't kept track of time so I am probably babbling on. I lay my hand over his chest to feel his heart beating, rest my head on the bed and close my eyes.

Begin Again...

Sometimes, that night at Smokin' Aces haunts me. I wake drenched in a cold sweat, a scream on my lips. His name. I should hate him more. I just wish I could get the blood from my hands.

The months have been long. I see him in the faces of my boys, but I cannot hate them. They are innocents in all of this. It was supposed to be my happily ever after. It was heartbreaking. I had to find myself all over again. It wasn't right to rely so heavily on someone. He will have a piece of my heart forever. I cannot deny that.

Two years ago, I met Eric in The Broken Piano. He became my best friend, my confidant, my drinking buddy, and my dance partner. A few months ago, he told me he was in love with me. I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or some long, deep hidden emotion. After "him," I was a wreck. My heart was torn into a thousand pieces. Nightie purged me of the drugs. Eric held me up and kept me from falling back down. The days blurred together, but he was there. The one constant.

One day at the Bunny Lounge, Cynthia hit on him. She didn't know we were seeing each other, but the jealousy hit me hard. Harder than I expected. I started to question and wonder if I had been ignoring the one person in front of me. I admitted my feelings. Eric pulled away a bit, as I expected him to. Not good enough, he said, he was not good enough to be with me.

My sweet sister, Ithiria, solved that insecurity and Eric and I have been all but inseparable. I hope this is it. People seem satisfied with my choice.

After a brief slip up, with Leopold Caine abducting Eric to try and coerce me into doing something for him, things are running smoothly now. I opened my second venue, L'Amore in Ballo.

I am happy. Not lying and not hiding everything sets my spirit free. I have a future in sight now.

Lies

There she was. Her. In his ship. After promise after promise that he would never hurt me and for me to trust him, he lied.

As Tiger sat at his desk, I came through the door. No words. Just took out the knife Carmilla made for me on our weekend getaway and stabbed him through the heart. So fitting that a knife that bore both our names is what I used to kill him.

I have sent my children away with my father. His boys. Tiger's sons. I need to find a way to survive again. One blue pill and I slip into oblivion, but even my dreams haunt me. Why? Why?

Time Flies

My lovely daughter Madeleine is two years old today. When I think back to all we have been through during her short years in this universe, I want to cry and smile all at the same time. My sweet little girl is growing up before my eyes.

She has been given some lovely presents from my father as well as a few special ones from me. Tiger gave her a lovely doll that Madeleine has yet to put down. She called her "Talia."

Life is so wonderful right now. I couldn't be more happy.

One Month Old!

As silly as it is, I thought I would mark this milestone. My boys are one month old today. Both can hold up their heads as well as turn towards different sounds and voices. They recognize mine and Madeleine's as soon as we come into a room. They start to coo and giggle. Madeleine takes great delight in laying on the floor with them and moving toys around for them to grab at.

Tyrion almost rolled from his stomach to his back this morning! I think he's going to be the more active of the pair. Tamar seems more subdued and content to get to things in his own time.

I couldn't be more proud of my boys and I just had to brag.

Realizations

Nightie moved so swiftly and the motion was so fluid, I never saw the knife coming until it pinned me to the table by my necklace. I could feel the chain dig into the back of my neck. A bouncer rushed to free me and I hastily inspected the ring on my necklace. It was completely undamaged. I ran my fingertips over the blemish that the knife caused to the table. The truth to her words hit home. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake and I was completely miserable because of it. Sure, the whole idea of separating was made with the very best of intentions, but was it the best thing for us?

The following morning, Madeleine and the boys spent the day with my father so I went into Smokin' Aces earlier than usual. I moved through the lounge to the bar and got the figures from the previous night from the bartender before heading to the management suite. Tiger's office door was shut. I wondered if he had been staying there or if he even was there. I tried my luck and knocked on the door. A voice from within responded and I entered the office.

There he was. My heart jumped into my throat. We talked a bit about business and I turned to look at something. Being the observant individual that Tiger is, he noticed the bruise along my neck and asked about it, brushing his fingers over the mark.

It wasn't long before all came flooding out. We knew we had made a mistake, but neither was willing to admit it until I had this eye opening experience.

At that point, we realized that we were made for each other. So different and yet, our hearts beat as one. He was and is my soul mate and I will never be parted from him again.